Mild weekend recap

There's something about being sent home from work 45 minutes early because the one person who understood that you were in the midst of a depression and dealing with some awful rough shit said things that, in your frame of mind, were designed to cut.  So piss me off to the point where I don't want to look at you...  after promising me the day before that I'd get to go home early just to have that promise be retracted because the same fucking bitch called in sick...  again.  Every other Saturday she's scheduled to work with us from 9-4 and she either cons someone into letting her work the sister clinic, which closes two hours earlier, or she calls in sick...  or comes in and acts like she's dieing until someone gets sick of it and sends her home.  But the boss doesn't think it's suspicious because she "looked sick" the day before and he'd sent her home three hours early...  but she'd been scheduled for rounds on Sunday and had asked not to be as it was her anniversary...
She's not married...  or engaged...  but they live together.
So I did rounds on Sunday...  and considering the mood I was in and the way that place feels to me at the moment (poison-evil-toxic) I did them in as short a time as possible.
Monday I cleaned the hell out of the house and that felt good, even though I skipped the bathroom.  The bathroom is disintegrating and seriously needs to be gutted but that's a different entry.
Yesterday a wonderful thing happened and I'm more at peace now than I have been in almost a month...  although I'm still not well, hell, nothing happens that quickly.
He's six months old, he's gorgeous, a Classic Orange Tabby with a white chin and his eyes are almost completely changed from kitten green to dark orange.  He's playful, frisky, fearless and already owns the house in a mere 19 hours.  The other four are not amused, but all in good time.  The Schmoopsie loves the boy.  They played and cuddled and I'm not only letting it happen, I'm encouraging it, I want it to happen. 
One cat devoted to me, one cat scared of everyone except me, one family cat who loves me just a little bit more and the former family cat who has become a "Daddy's Boy" and the boy is in need of a friend.  Although a puppy is still on the horizon a kitten was needed.  I needed him.  Just having him in the house brings me peace.  It's like we found the missing peace.  (typo intentional)  Just having this orange cat walking around the house and existing in our space is bringing me peace, and I honestly do not want him to bond to me.  I want him to bond to the boys.  I want to be a footnote in his life.  The nice lady who feeds him and cleans his toilet. 

Called in an hour early today which is a serious pain in the ass...  it gives me 30-40 minutes after taking the boy to school and then driving home.  Not much time to do much and I like to spend time watching a show...  I think it's time to start watching the Marvel shows in order and I really wanted to start that this morning...  but no.  So I take my short time, finish my chores and write this...  and I'm anticipating the asshole at work taking a lunch at just the right time...  and making sure that lunch is just long enough...  that I don't get a two hour lunch...  and I won't get to go home an hour early so that will put me at a nine hour day...  and I highly anticipate that the asshole will go home an hour early...  thus only working a mere 7 hours.
Although I anticipate all this it is absolutely my pessimism showing.  I prepare for the worst and then I'm not disappointed when it happens.  Although with the depression, anxiety and perimenopause I am disappointed...  and pissed off...  when exactly what I expected to happen...  actually happens.

I am really not responsible for my own brain right now.
The hamster has gone rouge.
Brain hamster - another entry.
We'll get there.
All in good time.
I have fifteen more minutes and 1/3 of a joint.
I'm out.
Be good.