Just Listen
In that moment when you realize that what you're striving to achieve is never going to happen. But more than that, the thing you're looking for and pretty sure you need is not there, it was never there and despite all your trying and years of counting small victories as successes... nothing has truly changed and the moments you recall and wish to re-create will not be done in this place.
So you move on and move around and move back and shimmy and shake and start over for the hundredth time or more. So many empty promises remain on the tips of my fingers but it's foolish to let them come out and tempt anyone with their song because despite my current resolution my history shows that there's not much to look forward to.
The biggest issue, truly, is that people seem to have lost the ability to listen. There is the way they see a situation and that is final. There is no room for discussion - there is no questioning on how one reached this point... there is a blank demand for proof which is immediately discounted when one does not perceive it the same way that you do. Reading through conversations on social media two of the bigger conversational trends are those who will throw insults at you for believing what they do not, and those who agree with you, who will discuss how amazing your topic is and you all are for believing... no dissenters, no one asking for more... just agree or disagree.
Sometimes we disagree so quickly we miss the fact that we really don't disagree at all...
My personal favorite is the person who begins to have a logical and possibly enjoyable conversation and then turns around and stops making sense.... or gets angry because you don't understand... or they don't understand... or someone on some side of things lacks the life experience and/or empathy to truly perceive the meanings and the reasonings being thrown around... and the conversation just stalls out with both sides feeling unresolved and angry. People won't meet in the middle, they won't put things on hold to get their emotions under control, they won't slow down, they won't take a moment to see past words to infer meaning and holy shit that is so frustrating to me.
I wander around thinking everyone is a fucking idiot because they require me to spell shit out to them. Is this true, do people really need this level of guidance? I always took it for granted that people knew what the fuck I was talking about without having to go into exhausting detail each time but apparently I was communicating with chimps for the first 30 years of my life because over the last ten years I've either gotten really bad at communicating or the caliber of people I'm hanging out with has drastically changed... regardless. The ability to infer meaning is something that I believe is honestly going to be lost on future generations. I don't know how to fix that.
I honestly think that if people would slow down and listen, or read as the case may be, they could open up communication in ways we only write about in books. Wouldn't it be amazing to be able to talk like that, to have that kind of open communication we dream about, talk about?
Start now.
Slow down.
Read and think and absorb and in the moment try to see from the point of view the author is leading you... whether it's a news article or a friend's opinion, a blog or a novel... just try to change your perspective a little bit. Learn to sympathize and see things from the other side. Understanding something does not mean you agree with it. Learning about something and understanding it means you are better capable of fighting it. There's also the chance that your own perspective could be taken into question which gives you an opportunity to educate yourself on a topic, expose yourself to an idea or experience and broaden your horizons.
Some things will never change. But you're never worse for learning something new.
Oh hell I need to practice what I preach!
Here's something that sort of fits in with ones ability to infer information but also deserves some time to itself... that is specific vs. general examples. The people who require specific examples of my experiences in order to justify my reactions to it are effectively asking me to call people out... as well as demanding me to explain and justify myself in a way I would not require of them in matters such as those addressed on public forums. I honestly prefer more generalized statements as I don't like singling people out unless their behavior is truly harmful. However, I respect your need for evidence. It has taken awhile to sink in, but I'm trying to better communicate with those of you who require specifics and can't infer from generalities. So I shall do my best to provide proof of what I'm speaking of on the off chance that your perception of these combined events will bring you to a place where you won't find my interpretation or emotional reaction to be offensive. I will do my best... but remembering to grab screen shots is a pain in the ass so give me some time to develop the habit.
I love talking about this blog like I'm gonna write in it everyday. There's optimism here. It's fabulous.
The righteous anger of the youth. That anger with no direction and no fuel and the refusal to see that the light they are burning is really a gorgeous thing but holy shit they need to reign it in before they completely alienate themselves. They don't care, they have each other, but what they don't realize is that the people you lean on in your 20's aren't always around when you're in your 40's...
So you move on and move around and move back and shimmy and shake and start over for the hundredth time or more. So many empty promises remain on the tips of my fingers but it's foolish to let them come out and tempt anyone with their song because despite my current resolution my history shows that there's not much to look forward to.
The biggest issue, truly, is that people seem to have lost the ability to listen. There is the way they see a situation and that is final. There is no room for discussion - there is no questioning on how one reached this point... there is a blank demand for proof which is immediately discounted when one does not perceive it the same way that you do. Reading through conversations on social media two of the bigger conversational trends are those who will throw insults at you for believing what they do not, and those who agree with you, who will discuss how amazing your topic is and you all are for believing... no dissenters, no one asking for more... just agree or disagree.
Sometimes we disagree so quickly we miss the fact that we really don't disagree at all...
My personal favorite is the person who begins to have a logical and possibly enjoyable conversation and then turns around and stops making sense.... or gets angry because you don't understand... or they don't understand... or someone on some side of things lacks the life experience and/or empathy to truly perceive the meanings and the reasonings being thrown around... and the conversation just stalls out with both sides feeling unresolved and angry. People won't meet in the middle, they won't put things on hold to get their emotions under control, they won't slow down, they won't take a moment to see past words to infer meaning and holy shit that is so frustrating to me.
I wander around thinking everyone is a fucking idiot because they require me to spell shit out to them. Is this true, do people really need this level of guidance? I always took it for granted that people knew what the fuck I was talking about without having to go into exhausting detail each time but apparently I was communicating with chimps for the first 30 years of my life because over the last ten years I've either gotten really bad at communicating or the caliber of people I'm hanging out with has drastically changed... regardless. The ability to infer meaning is something that I believe is honestly going to be lost on future generations. I don't know how to fix that.
I honestly think that if people would slow down and listen, or read as the case may be, they could open up communication in ways we only write about in books. Wouldn't it be amazing to be able to talk like that, to have that kind of open communication we dream about, talk about?
Start now.
Slow down.
Read and think and absorb and in the moment try to see from the point of view the author is leading you... whether it's a news article or a friend's opinion, a blog or a novel... just try to change your perspective a little bit. Learn to sympathize and see things from the other side. Understanding something does not mean you agree with it. Learning about something and understanding it means you are better capable of fighting it. There's also the chance that your own perspective could be taken into question which gives you an opportunity to educate yourself on a topic, expose yourself to an idea or experience and broaden your horizons.
Some things will never change. But you're never worse for learning something new.
Oh hell I need to practice what I preach!
Here's something that sort of fits in with ones ability to infer information but also deserves some time to itself... that is specific vs. general examples. The people who require specific examples of my experiences in order to justify my reactions to it are effectively asking me to call people out... as well as demanding me to explain and justify myself in a way I would not require of them in matters such as those addressed on public forums. I honestly prefer more generalized statements as I don't like singling people out unless their behavior is truly harmful. However, I respect your need for evidence. It has taken awhile to sink in, but I'm trying to better communicate with those of you who require specifics and can't infer from generalities. So I shall do my best to provide proof of what I'm speaking of on the off chance that your perception of these combined events will bring you to a place where you won't find my interpretation or emotional reaction to be offensive. I will do my best... but remembering to grab screen shots is a pain in the ass so give me some time to develop the habit.
I love talking about this blog like I'm gonna write in it everyday. There's optimism here. It's fabulous.
The righteous anger of the youth. That anger with no direction and no fuel and the refusal to see that the light they are burning is really a gorgeous thing but holy shit they need to reign it in before they completely alienate themselves. They don't care, they have each other, but what they don't realize is that the people you lean on in your 20's aren't always around when you're in your 40's...
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